If you could have any superpower, what would it be? Invisibility? Flight? Super-human strength? Anyone who does a daily commute would probably ask for the ability to teleport. As we don’t have access to a teleporting device, in the year 2014 we are left with only these options:
Long distance journeys:
- Planes and Trains
- (Hover boards, despite certain promises made by the Back to the Future franchise, have not yet been invented).
Each of these modes of transport has their own benefits but each can be pretty annoying too.
Planes and Trains
– The baggage allowances are always lower than the weight of the amount of stuff you need to take.
– The food tastes of nothing because the tube between your ears and nose (and therefore your senses of smell and taste) are affected by the change in air pressure.
– Every time the plane encounters turbulence there is always someone who gasps, loudly, scaring the rest of the passengers.
– You can’t use your mobile phone, let alone your tablet or other devices.
– You have no choice but to travel under the sea. You might not like that idea.
– There is nowhere to store your luggage without leaving it out of sight.
– The seats are crammed closely together.
– The person in front of you puts their seat back, meaning you can’t use your tray for your meal or drink.
– The person behind you pulls their table up and down frequently, causing your seat to knock annoyingly.
– If you try to recline your seat, you get told off by the person behind you.
– There are loads of different agencies and companies involved at a port, any number of whom might decide to strike or just start a protest and your journey is cancelled.
– You cannot get out of your care without banging your doors on the cars parked two inches to either side of you.
– The boat is always moving and people are often sick.
– Filling up with petrol costs as much as the weekly shop.
– Other drivers are idiots.
– Pedestrians and cyclists like to test your brakes.
– Satellite Navigation systems seem more trustworthy than they are.
– You can’t sleep when you’re driving. It is frowned upon.
– They are dirty and smelly.
– The chairs are hard and you always seem to sit next to a fat person.
– There is no legroom; the chairs don’t adjust at all.
– There are no tables and no plugs.
Actually, iDBUS is a coach company that has none of these annoying features. You can pre-book your seats so you can sit wherever, and with whomever, you like. Their modern coaches are impeccably clean and have ergonomically designed seating, adjustable tables, extra legroom and elbowroom and free on board Wi-Fi and plug sockets. Travel from London Victoria Coach Station with iDBUS from London to Paris at the Mini Price of £33 and sleep as much as you want. Hooray!